Welcome to Episode 19 of the Haelan Nurse Chronicles. I’m your host Dr. Lorre Laws, a nurse, author, and trauma-burnout expert. In today’s episode we’re going to discuss how nurses worldwide are being asked by their managers and leaders to “pretend you didn’t get traumatized at work”.
This phenomenon, which is widely reported by nurses in social media and blog posts, goes something like this. A nurse experiences a nurse-specific traumatizing event at work, like being physically assaulted by a patient, verbally abused by a family member, or bullied by a colleague.
These are all forms of avoidable nurse-specific traumatization, which affects 91% of nurses across the globe.
So let’s unpack what is really happening here – which is, essentially, a trauma sandwich. First, the nurse is experiencing system-induced trauma. This type of avoidable trauma is when organized health systems create trauma, including those designed to mitigate trauma. That’s our first piece of bread in the trauma sandwich.🥪
Now, let’s see what’s on the menu for the trauma sandwich fillings. Here, we have another avoidable traumatic event when a violent patient assaulted a nurse, leaving her bloody and then bruised for weeks. Or, we have another nurse who was followed to their car after their shift by family members. The family members threatened to follow the nurse home and inflict harm. Then there’s the nurse who was involved in an adverse event that was due to insufficient resources. That nurse has second-victim trauma and struggles with stigma, guilt, and shame despite the root cause being the employer’s responsibility. And the list goes one. These are all examples of trauma sandwich fillings . . .all of which are avoidable.🥓🧀🥬
And here’s the kicker. When these nurses follow policy, communicate within the chain of command, and report these incidents, they are being asked to “pretend you didn’t get traumatized at work”. Nurses are being threatened with their livelihood, their licenses, and their regulatory agency. This is organizational blaming-the-victim culture that is yet another form of avoidable workplace violence in the form of gaslighting.
Case Story: LTC Nurse
Let’s turn our attention to the story of an LTC Nurse who asked to remain anonymous. The nurse working in a LTC facility found herself in a troubling situation where her CNO continuously pulled her into his office, claiming she appeared unapproachable. Despite her recent work-related trauma where a patient physically assaulted her, which made her introverted and soft-spoken, she made every effort to provide excellent care to her patients and their families. Confiding in a co-worker, she learned that her colleagues perceived her as friendly, which left her confused about the CNO’s criticism. During her review, the CNO gave her the lowest rating for friendliness, urging her to put on an act and change her personality while at work. This manipulative behavior left the nurse feeling wronged, questioning her authenticity and struggling with doubts about her own abilities.
Seeking guidance from her counselor, the nurse recognized the toxic environment created by the CNO’s gaslighting tactics. With the support of her therapist, she began to develop healthier coping skills to navigate the stressful situation at work. Despite the pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations, she decided to prioritize her mental health and well-being. Ultimately, she made the brave decision to resign from her current position, realizing that her worth as a nurse was not determined by conforming to someone else’s standards. Choosing to seek a more supportive work environment, the nurse took a step towards reclaiming her agency and finding a workplace that values her for who she truly is.
Impact of Gaslighting as an Avoidable Nurse Trauma
Gaslighting in the workplace can have a detrimental impact on nurses, leading to doubts about their own abilities and performance. When nurses are constantly told to change their personalities or behaviors to fit a certain mold, it can cause them to question their authenticity and competence. This gaslighting behavior can increase stress levels and create a toxic work environment, making it difficult for nurses to maintain their mental health and well-being. The constant pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations set by manipulative leaders can take a toll on nurses’ self-esteem and confidence, further exacerbating the challenges they face in providing quality care to their patients.
Navigating the effects of gaslighting in the workplace requires nurses to seek support from counselors or therapists to develop healthier coping skills. By recognizing the impact of gaslighting on their mental health, nurses can take steps to prioritize self-care and set boundaries with toxic leaders. It is crucial for nurses to advocate for themselves and seek out alternative employment options if faced with persistent gaslighting behavior. By addressing the negative impact of gaslighting and emphasizing the importance of maintaining mental well-being, nurses can work towards creating a healthier and more supportive work environment for themselves and their colleagues.
Setting Boundaries & Seeking Support
Setting boundaries with leaders who engage in gaslighting behavior is essential for maintaining personal integrity and professional autonomy. Nurses must assert their boundaries and communicate clearly about what is and is not acceptable treatment in the workplace. In some cases, legal assistance or HR involvement may be necessary to address gaslighting behavior and protect nurses from further harm. By enforcing boundaries and seeking support when needed, nurses can advocate for themselves and create a more positive and respectful work environment.
Seeking support from experts, such as myself and other health professionals is crucial when facing gaslighting in the workplace. These professionals can provide valuable guidance and tools to help nurses navigate the challenges of dealing with manipulative behavior from leaders. By developing healthier coping skills, nurses can better manage the stress and self-doubt that may arise from gaslighting, ultimately improving their mental well-being and resilience in toxic work environments.
In Closing
It is evident that gaslighting in the workplace can have a significant impact on nurses, leading to doubts about their abilities, increased stress, and challenges in maintaining mental health. By seeking support from experts, nurses can develop healthier coping skills to navigate the toxic environment created by manipulative leaders. Setting boundaries with those who engage in gaslighting behavior is crucial for maintaining personal integrity and advocating for a more positive work environment.
Nurses must prioritize their mental well-being and take steps to address the negative impact of gaslighting and other avoidable nurse-specific traumas in order to create a healthier and more supportive workplace for themselves and their colleagues. If you have experienced any form of nurse-specific traumatization, I urge you to take action now. Please attend my Nurse Trauma Masterclass or schedule a call with me to start the healing process. Visit my website at drlorelaws.com/webinar to learn more.
Until next time, thank you for all that you are and do.
I see you.
I feel you.
I hear you.
And I am here for you.
From my healer’s heart to yours,
Dr. Lorre 💕